I'd rather not grow out of some things.
This Ninja Turtles T-shirt is one, and others include mates Adam Duke, Shane Wicke, David Clarke and Anthony Lowe.
These dudes and Ninja Turtles aren't separate things. They're like Turner and Hooch. Han and Chewbacca. Batman and Robin. Turk and JD. Think of one of them, and Ninja Turtles is there floating in the back of my mind.
The first episode of Turtles aired about 1990, right about when we rocked up for our first day at Batemans Bay Pre-School, with lunchbox and piece of fruit to share.
We all knew what we'd be playing the second we were let out in the yard for morning tea. Turtles. And given that each of us had a Turtles lunch box, it wasn't long before the five of us assembled in the red phone box (our secret lair) and in the concrete tunnel under the grass hill (our sewer).
Everything good about Dukey, Wicke, Clarkee, and Lowie (Woogie, he'd later hate to be called) can be summed up in an episode of Ninja Turtles.
Shane W – Michaelangelo
No arguments, Wicke was an energetic (read: bonkers) four-year-old. And he always had the coolest toys. He was the kid most likely to get us sat in the corner (to think about what we'd done), who possessed an uncanny ability to render us incapacitated via giggle fits as he parroted all the funniest lines from The Simpsons and SNES games.
(Oh, and he loved pizza but hated anchovies.)
David C – Raphael
A sharp, funny tongue with a short fuse, although he never unleashed it on anyone who didn't deserve it (well, mostly). Dave is the best Raphael I know, besides the plastic one in my toy box with MADE IN CHINA stamped on its crotch. Dave is always keen to jump in on an argument,
like any good Turtle would - Dave just considers it a bonus that he enjoys a good rumble so much.
A mates-before-dates kinda dude ... unless she was hot. In that case, he'd rightly lock his brother turtles out of his house and force them to crash in the freezing turtlevan.
Anthony L – Donatello
Wicke may have always had the coolest toys, but Ant's pockets were always packed with the maddest gadgets. If it was state-of-art and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, Ant had it, usually before it was in the shops. And he was always willing to share his dinky trinkets with his brother turtles. Anything Nintendo, he had one, way before the rest of us. So did each of his brothers and sister, come to mention it. Which meant big things for Turtle Power, as if the five of us were ever stuck on a long school bus trip, Ant would "borrow" his siblings' Gameboys so we could all play too.
Adam D – Leonardo
Dukey has done judo as long as I've known him. Which is my life minus about three years. So while he's seriously thoughtful, seriously gentle and occasionally seriously too serious, he could've kicked seven kinds of serious shit outta all of us. Which made him an excellent leader for a group of kids bound to come up against their fair share of bullies.
(Well, we were a rich kid, a redheaded kid, a video-game-addicted kid, a freckled kid, and a sick pale kid... not exactly tough targets for lunch-money thugs...) He was also the guy who'd always pick us to play soccer with him, even though we sucked, and, with much patience, taught us to play better.
Nearly two decades after that playground meeting ... I'm proud to say bugger all has changed, and that we've managed to stay mates.
Which Turtle am I?
Well, much as I love Leonardo – I got the full costume when I was six and wore it till I was like 12 – I'd say I slotted in as Casey Jones. Like Casey, I was (heck, still am) pretty goofy, not as
skilled as the others and hardly as cool. And I was often away in the hospital, so I could only guest star, at best.
But bless them, they let me play anyway. (Or maybe Mum sugared their pockets with Ghost Drops?)
So that's what I think of when I pull on this T-shirt - me and my buddies.
Heroes in a half shell.
Cowabunga, dudes.
B --
